Netflix had a rough time in 2022, entirely due to its unforced errors. They raised subscription fees, played with the idea of instituting ads, canceled a ton of beloved shows, and lost countless subscribers. On top of their numerous obvious bad decisions and hostile business practices, they also willingly produced and distributed some of the worst TV shows of the year.
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The Pentaverate (28%)
Mike Myers has fallen pretty far over the past couple of decades. His comedic talents are still sharp, his unique characters are still compelling, and he has several interesting small roles across lesser-known films like Amsterdam. However, this ill-advised six-episode series in which he portrays no less than 9 different characters simply did not work out. The series is based on a subplot in Myers’ 1993 film So I Married an Axe Murderer, in which a secondary character is obsessed with a conspiracy theory. It’s a broad parody of conspiracy culture that fails to capture most of what’s interesting about that particular social ill. Some great performers are turning in weak work in this series, from Ken Jeong’s lame Hangover retread to Keegan-Michael Key’s boring nonentity. The show simply isn’t funny, which is a shame, because there’s so much room to have fun with the premise.
Echoes (24%)
From the creator of 13 Reasons Why, this bizarre drama squanders its mildly interesting premise and sinks into the world of complete nonsense. Echoes stars Michelle Monaghan in dual roles as a pair of twins who switch lives every birthday. One lives in the city while the other enjoys quiet farm life, but by taking on each other’s identities, they each get to have it all. When one twin goes missing, the other must discover the reason behind her disappearance without exposing their needlessly complicated lifestyle. The show piles one nonsensical twist on another until the entire story feels like it’s being improvised as the viewer watches. There’s nothing particularly special about this messy mystery, and it got the almost nonexistent public profile it deserved. It’s a decent tawdry thriller premise, but its execution is a disaster.
Blockbuster (22%)
There’s something curiously dystopian about this show. Netflix rises from obscurity to take on the monopolists at Blockbuster, kills them, becomes the new oppressive dictator, and produces a show about its former rival’s downfall. Then consider that the show is one of the worst-received projects ever released to the platform. It’s like Netflix intentionally set out to tarnish the memory of their old enemy. Despite an excellent cast including Brooklyn 99 star Melissa Fumero and stellar character actor Randall Park, the show’s insipid writing makes it unwatchable. Workplace comedies are a time-honored genre, but if the show isn’t funny, it doesn’t matter what business it’s set in. There’s probably some nostalgic value in jokes about Blockbuster, and the Superstore format feels like it could be transferrable. Blockbuster wasn’t an impossible project to make entertaining, but it’ll take a great deal more than nostalgic branding to attract anything other than derision. An actual video rental store would be a better investment.
Hard Cell (20%)
Catherine Tate may be best known for her role as Donna Noble in the fourth series of Doctor Who, but she’s an accomplished comedian with a long history of fantastic performances. She’s way too good a comedian to be wasting her time on projects like this one. Unfortunately, Tate doesn’t just star in this series in six roles, she also co-wrote and co-directed every episode. There are so many recurring jokes that are not funny on their first use. It lacks any charm or wit, focuses entirely too much on easy stereotypes, and falls back on scatological nonsense with near-clockwork regularity. It’s worth hoping that Tate takes another run at sitcom success because her first attempt is about as funny as a life sentence.
Snowflake Mountain (0%)
Finally, a whole show for people who think everyone under the age of thirty should be drafted into the armed forces. A handful of twenty-somethings sign up for a luxury Big Brother-style show, only to get dropped into the worst ripoff of Survivor ever put to screen. Snowflake Mountain sounds like it was pitched by someone’s hateful grandfather. It should be called “kids these days are too soft,” “back in my day,” or “participation trophies.” On the other hand, throwing the word “snowflake” into the title sets the tone just right. An insult popularized by political ideologues to bemoan the tendency of modern young people to feel okay about themselves is right on the money. This show’s target audience can’t operate Netflix without their kids’ help. This barely-disguised spite earns a flat zero. Glance at the list of recent cancelations, then check out the description of this show, then look long and hard at your subscription bill this month. The lost subscribers make a little more sense now, don’t they?
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